Beans and Leaves

Humans are creatures of habit it’s said.  We tend to love our daily rituals.   They allow us some continuity.

We normally rise as the same time each day.  I suppose that’s hard wired genetically.   The older we get, the earlier we rise.

I think that has a lot to do with the older we get, the less we tend to stay up past midnight.  The body only needs so much sleep.  Plan accordingly.

I sit on my back porch most mornings now enjoying the peace and quiet.  It’s a time for reflection of the past few days.  It’s also a time for mental notes for the upcoming day.


Coffee has been part of my mornings for many years now.  Since we brought in an espresso machine 7 or 8 years ago, it’s become even more of a ritual.   Grinding the beans, tamping the portafilter, extracting the espresso.   The golden brown stream of liquid enters the cup as i patiently watch.

That golden brown crema sits atop the mahogany liquid like icing on a cake.  It’s a wonderful texture and really is something every coffee drinker should experience creating.


A few years ago, one of my friends introduced the tobacco leaf to me, the leaf that is meant to be smoked in a pipe.  This has become the other half of many morning rituals.

There is an artful process to this as well.  Choosing the morning’s tobacco blend and the pipe of the day.  Piping is an addictive hobby.   Eventually, you end up collecting a few.  (It’s not good for the pipe to use the same one daily)

There’s the filling of the bowl, the initial light.   Then as time goes by, the methodic tamping down of the burning leaf to keep the smoke draw consistent and the fire from going out.   There are often a few re-lights that take place, mostly due to being inattentive or perhaps the tobacco was slightly too moist.

The moments of reflection that come with pipe smoking make the experience worthwhile to me.   Yes, I am introducing tobacco to my system, but truly, it’s minimal.  One doesn’t intentionally inhale pipe smoke.

Side note:  I had some medical lab tests recently in order to renew my life insurance policy.  I pleased they found no traces of nicotine.  But I’m sitting here trying to justify to you how this is not unhealthy.

It’s unhealthy for sure.  So is too much coffee, sugar, seed oils and a host of other things most of us have not found ways to completely eliminate.


It turns out that the pairing of tobacco leaf and coffee bean is a thing.  I’d never have thought that.  Often like pairing certain food with certain drinks has been common over the centuries, so do we find tobacco and drink pairings.

Some of my favorite tobaccos are aged in bourbon or rum barrels.  I don’t drink much alcohol these days but on some evenings, it’s nice to pair up something like Plum Pudding Bourbon Barrel tobacco with a good Kentucky bourbon over ice.


We find peace and contentment in our little daily rituals.  Things that keep us centered and grounded.  Time spent reflecting and planning.  The elimination of external distractions as we focus on the smoke and ash.

So, too, my wife and I find peace in the little rituals we share together most days.  The way she will kiss the rim of my cup as she serves me.  Showering together.  Her greeting me at the door when I come home.  Making dinner together.

A very good ritual for married couples is to try to go to bed together at the same time.  There is something comforting to her to fall asleep in my arms, protected, safe from the world.   She can tap into my strength as her head lay on my chest.

There are times I cannot fall asleep and will quietly get up once she’s in a sound slumber.  Within an hour or two, I’m back, her none the wiser.

Daily Check-Ins

Sharing a cup of coffee in the morning and talking about our Dom/sub relationship is an amazing way to connect.   These are times where the only subject for discussion is us.   How we are doing as a couple.  It’s a chance to praise or air grievance.  We nip our problems in the bud near daily during this ritual.

Our problems aren’t given a chance to fester.  After being married 30+ years and many now in a formal D/s relationship, there are still issues that pop up.   But in our little rituals, we deal with them and move on.

So find some daily rituals if you don’t have any.  I’m betting you do.  Find that quiet place to think, really think, avoiding the external distractions of phone and PC.

It’s good for the soul.

Comments on this entry are closed.