One of the realities in embracing a formal D/s role in your home, it forces an honesty onto both partners. This can be a welcomed relief and a pained admission.
Honesty is one of the basic stones that make up the D/s Foundation. When you jump into this, you accept that you will be honest with your girl as you move forward.
But then, it hits you: You have to be honest with yourself as well. You most likely didn’t get to a D/s beginning without a lot of turmoil preceded. I’ve seen many turn to D/s as a last ditch effort to save their crumbling marriage.
But as we get to work on the issues between the two us, we are forced to admit our own faults. We have to work on ourselves.
Humans are funny. We see faults in others so easily and rarely notice any of our own. Oh, we know we have faults. But we tell ourselves these sweet little lies. We brush them under the rug. We ignore reality.
Sometimes, it’s all we can do just to get out of bed in the morning. We might be dealing with depression. We might be dealing with alcoholism or addiction to some other substance. There might be unresolved trauma in our past.
So when it comes to honesty in a D/s marriage, the painful place we have to start is with ourselves. We have to stop telling ourselves the fault lies.
Trust me, your girl knows every one of your faults. She’s accepted them grudgingly over the years. Resentment has likely built up as well.
So we Doms are forced to look in the mirror and embrace all we see, the good and the bad. We have to start fixing ourselves. Your girl has to do the same. She has her own fault lies to admit to.
In a perfect world, you get two people, trying to fix the relationship while both are working to improve their own short comings. What a challenge!
This is hard work.
It’s why most couples rarely have the grit and determination to stay the course.
This is hard work. But it’s worth it.