Many men are lost and struggling in their marriages. They want the spark back in their relationship. There is a sense of desperation that begins to fester. These men want a better situation than they are in.
Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. Resentment is the solvent that dissolves it.
Divorce is an option but for many men it’s not a very good one. There might be kids in the picture. There might be some religious reasons divorce isn’t ideal. They simply might just really love their wives! I know, heaven forbid, right?
However, the path he’s on sucks. If he’s lucky, he’s getting laid perhaps once a month. And the sex is terrible. Duty sex. Starfish sex.
Once a month meets the definition of Sexless Marriage.
This is not how we are meant to live our lives. The spark of attraction is gone. It’s not easy, but it can come back. No guarantees however.
There is a saying that gets repeated a lot. “Your wife wants to have sex, just not with you.” So how do we get back to the point where she views you as a man that she wants to fill her up?
There are some simple things a man can do immediately to be more Dominant in their marriages I’ll list five here to start with.
Shut up. Stop whining about not having sex. Avoid getting butt-hurt. There is nothing that will dry up your wife’s panties than you being a whiny needy little boy. When she says no, go find something enjoyable to do.
Dominant men don’t act like little spoiled kids. Stop unloading your daily BS on your wife like she’s some best friend. She has girlfriends that do that.
Don’t be her girlfriend.
Find a buddy or a dog to unload your feelings onto. Trust me on this. Maintain your frame at all times.
It’s a must to get into better physical shape. A man has to make time for his own health. We lift weights, eat better, become more physical in everything we do. Inevitably, you will start to feel better about yourself. Your mood will rise. Confidence skyrockets.
Confidence is the most powerful aphrodisiac.
Physiques get more impressive. She will notice. She might shit test you about it. Expect it. Just ignore and keep on working out. Hey, let’s face it. You’re in a dead bed marriage, can’t get much worse.
This marriage might not work out. That’s reality. Reality also is you have to get into better shape for you, not her. Or for the next her.
Stand in front of a mirror naked and ask yourself, “Would I screw me?” No? Fix it.
This one is going to be a bit more subtle. Work on lowering the pitch of your voice. It projects calm. It projects more authority.
High testosterone men, perceived as more masculine, have lower pitched voices. Voices that project from the bottom of the diaphragm not the back of the throat. You have to relax.
Lowering your voice is very doable. You can practice this privately.
Case in point: If the pitch of my voice rises, my girl knows i’m stressed. Guess what? It stresses her. Women that are stressed aren’t that into intimacy.
Start making decisions. Stop asking your wife for permission to do things. Stop asking her silly little questions and forcing her to make decisions. Sometimes in my past, I would ask these type questions basically trying to make conversation. That had to stop.
Good lord, our family would sit in our vehicle trying to decide where to go eat. We’d sit there for 20 minutes sometimes.
Everyone wants to be a leader until it’s time to lead. Your family is waiting for your to lead. They’ve been hoping you would forever.
You won’t always make the right decision but you’ll become a man of action. String enough decisions and actions together and you become the leader your wife (and kids if you have any) will look up to.
Let’s also be real. Big decisions need to be discussed.
I have a friend that says he’s The Judge. His wife and kids are litigators in his court.
I trust my girl’s counsel. But I have to cast the deciding vote. One leads, one follows.
When you do finally get with her in bed, fuck her like it’s your last fuck on earth. She won’t break. Ravish her. Leave her with a lasting memory.
Talking to her in bed is mandatory. Keep a running dialog going about all the things you love about what you are seeing and feeling with her. Tell her how you like it, what you want her to do. Direct the show, she will follow.
Real talk. If you’re not been having sex much, you’re likely to blow your load a lot faster than either of you want. That shit gets in your head. You can’t let it mess with you.
Solution: Give her 5 orgasms and get yours at the end. (Get a Hitachi magic wand. You’ll thank me later.)
I lost count around 20 O’s I pulled out of my girl one night. I still hadn’t gotten mine. It didn’t matter. I was the maestro playing her body. It’s a powerful feeling. Trust me, I always get mine at the end.
Try to follow that 5 to 1 ratio. She won’t care how fast you come at the end. She will, though, be ready for this again in a few nights.
This societal mandated equality of the sexes has killed desire in so many relationships. Opposites attract. There has to be a masculine energy and a feminine energy to ignite the flames of lust.
So, you can only work on you. This will be a long haul. But if it’s what you truly want, you’ll make it happen.
Sure, the marriage may not be able to recover. It might be too late. But you’re still improving who you are as a man and that’s only going to pay dividends in your future.
You do this for you. No one else. You are your own mental frame of origin. Never forget that.