Victim Mentality has seemingly become the accepted standard of human behavior lately. When did this happen?
Somewhere along the way, the rules of the game shifted away from personal responsibility.
One of the craziest things I hear from men that have reached out to me are the excuses as to why their life sucks. I’ve heard a lot. My boss hates me. My wife doesn’t understand me. My kids don’t respect me. My neighbors dog lays bombs on my yard. (Okay I made that last one up).
There is an upswell of men getting their acts together. This little slice of the internet that has been dubbed the Manosphere is helping lead the way.
We talk about the physical stuff, diet and exercise, for obvious reasons but there’s also the mental aspect that has to be addressed. For starters, the saying “Own Your Own Shit” seems logical.
Right now, the life you have is the life you truly deserve. Let that sink in.
No matter how much you want to think Dr Evil is out to get you, the exact situations you are in are of your own doing.
Taking personal responsibility for that is the only way to jump-start your life. Looking in the mirror for a long and uncomfortable time is called for. Analyze what you see. Figure out which of your actions got you to where you are right now.
Take that list of other’s transgressions you’ve been tallying up all these years and shred it. It’s a new day.
Thrre is a great book called The Compound Effect. Just like how monetary interest builds in a savings account at the bank, each decision you make during the day, no matter how trivial you might think it, adds up over time.
Each decision we make is a little fork in the road. If we eventually keep making the worse of the two choices, we end up in a foreign and dangerous territory we cannot thrive in.
Tiny stuff makes a difference. So as a man evaluates the past decisions that led to the current position, we must take a momentary pause before each decision and compare against the past. How does it align with our current goals? Will this help me get to where I want to go?
One of the easiest examples of this is food. That piece of pie surely won’t hurt. It’s just one piece. But you make that decision once a week and you’ve consumed 52 slices by year end.
Or you can make a few good decisions every day and save yourself 500 calories. By year’s end, that’s 182,500 deficit calories. Wow.
If you believe it takes 3500 calories to lose a pound, that’s potentially 52 pounds you’d lose. (3500 is a debatable number but you get the point)
So confess to yourself your horrible decisions up to this point. Note I said to yourself. You don’t need to vomit all that up to everyone around you. Accept your responsibility for where you are today. Now take a second before each future decision and take the path that leads you closer to your goals.
It really is that easy. Stop the blame game. You are not a victim.