I am part of a group we call Fraternity of Excellence. There are very few, if any, days off here. This month we are concentrating on leadership. Earlier months included Finances, Health and we had a reprise of the Men of March program last month.
Leadership can take many roles depending on the person you are trying to lead. For this to be effective, a leader must be able to have several styles of leadership. Certain people in our lives need certain things.
In the D/s world, we sometimes refer to this as Feeding. But feeding is not a one-way Dom to Sub process. She will feed me back those things that I need in my world.
curvey and I had this discussion Friday: “If there was no submissive woman in his life, is a Dom still a Dom?”
”Does the sub, then, really hold all the power?”
I believe we can head down the rabbit hole and chase our tail a bit on that one. From there we must define power and what is a Power Exchange. Sometimes that can devolve into a chicken-egg debate.
By the definition in my head, there is an exchange of power. It is voluntary and quite consensual.
The Dom takes on greater responsibilities and duties that had previously been clouding his submissive’s landscape. Her colors had gotten blurred, comingled into a cacophony of primaries screaming for their place only to find themselves getting mixed into a gross combination of murky darkness.
The sub, in her heart, mind and soul, is free to paint her scene with the colors of her choosing. Her gifts then envelope all the people around her. Everything within her touch gets brightened. She is able to release certain worries when she has the Trust in her Dom that he is her Warrior, her Leader and her Protector.
How does a man be a leader when no one wishes to follow him? Many men I interact with would love for their girls to be their submissive. Unfortunately, this is something she has to discover about herself. But in the mean time, the man simply begins his process of being a Dom. A leader. A trustworthy and honorable man, one worth following. He caters his leadership style to the woman (and often children) he wishes to lead.
Eventually, if she has any submissive nature, she will begin to come around. She might resist ever using the word submissive. To do so, for many, would feel like their are betraying their feminist sisters? I do wonder about that at times. Women, clearly acting the submissive role, will rebel violently when they encounter that label. But that’s another blog post…
There will be much learned by trial and error. We all make mistakes, we all fail, it’s what you do next that defines your trajectory.
There is a video (below) Elon Musk put out on how many rocket boosters failed when trying to land for re-use. It’s a great reminder for me in my life that to achieve greatness, I must prepare for eventual failures and have a recovery plan.
My family deserves my best. Every day I wake up, I will be better than I was yesterday.
If you are a man who is looking for a brotherhood to help reach your new personal heights, join us @ www.fraternityofexcellence.com
(It is not a BDSM site per se but there are several of us that identify as Dominants that are members.)
If you are a woman, interested in learning more about her possible submissive side, or a sub looking for like-minded sisters, check out http://www.subsisterhood.com