How about we bite off a topic for the ages? No problem. Hopefully I can amuse myself a bit.
I often hear men saying things akin to “I will never understand women…” Or something closely relating to that sentiment. Without painting with too broad a brush, I would say that isn’t really true. Men, too often, try to analyze the female sex like they would their men friends. No bueno.
Women are rather easy to understand in my opinion.
Women want your attention, men. They want all of it. They want to be the center of your universe. That’s the broad brush stroke.
Now trying to understand any one particular women is a wee bit more complicated. It wasn’t until curvey and I embarked upon our Dominant/submissive journey a few years ago that I had an epiphany.
In the BDSM world, we have all types. Masochists, submissives, littles, slaves, switches, sadists, etc. When I’m on sites like FetLIfe, I see many men and women and they associate themselves with a particular label in their profile. From dealing with my girl, I’ve figured out she has a lot of these different flavors that make her who she is. Trying to pigeon hole her with one label just won’t cut it.
Maybe that’s where men go wrong? Trying to apply one label to the woman. When you start to understand the different labels that are out there, you’ll start to see bits and pieces of many orbiting her emotional core. It’s a beautiful dance when you understand the steps.
In my girl, curvey has a large slave component, a large little component, a minor amount of masochist as well. And at her emotional core, she is a true submissive. At times, she is most happy when she is serving me. Other times, her happiness might be planting flowers or coloring in one of her coloring books. I embrace and encourage all of her flavors. It’s who she is. Once she realized that she could be a little or a slave at times, she blossomed. We both finally understood why she does many of the things so does.
She wants to be taken care of, to be kept safe, to be loved no matter which mood she is in, etc. She has a set of needs that I lovingly address as I see fit. I feed her what I believe she needs in that moment. It can range from a gentle hug to a cup of coffee and some conversation to an extended play scene in the bedroom where she is flogged into multiple orgasms. Every day, I enjoy participating in her continued growth. She’s a beautiful soul I’m happy to share my path with.
In return she feeds me in many ways. It’s the reciprocity in this relationship that keeps it fun, exciting and nourishing. Most definitely a two-way street. Don’t let anyone fool you. A submissive women can be the greatest partner around but she needs sunlight, water and nutrients to grow. I can’t get complacent and take her for granted. The feeding process goes both ways and it’s constant, 24/7/365.
So understanding a woman is easy. You observe and listen. You build up the environment where she can trust you to see her true self. That’s the gift she will give, if you let her.