Not all of us can live in a true Dominant/submissive relationship. It takes one helluva lot of effort from both husband and wife. Some folks live it in the bedroom only and just enjoy the sex part (which is amazing).
Others will work to live D/s all day long, every day of the year. And, it takes constant effort. But the rewards are a closeness you’ll never feel anywhere else. Once you get a taste of that, you’ll want a lot more of it. And if one partner loses the desire to live D/s, the entire relationship can shatter. Be careful what you wish for. The consequences are huge. And, of course, complacency kills. Laziness will allow old bad habits to seep back in.
The truly important things about D/s is what it takes to get there. Communication, transparency, honesty, trust, respect, love… These things make up the bedrock of the D/s life. Guess what? They also make up the bedrock of any solid long term relationship. You might not be D/s or even want to be. But, the successful ingredients of the D/s recipe will improve your married life in dramatic ways.
Ask yourself, do we talk about things that matter or just gossip or family stuff that’s going on right now? Can you hand your girl your cell phone for a few hours and not have any concerns?
Do you tell her the truth when she asks, “Does this make my butt look fat?” (Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread!) But in all seriousness, do you tell the truth to the one you share your life with or do you try and hide things?
Do you show her respect daily? Does she show you respect daily? Do you love all of her, every single little freckle or idiosyncrasy? If not, figure out why. Maybe with some honest heartfelt communication, you can get to the bottom of whatever it is that’s keeping you from blowing the doors off your life together.
What I write here might reach a few folks now and then. Most of them are probably not in a D/s relationship. Heck, they might even think it’s some messed up 50 Shades of Grey thing and it’s bizarre. The sexy kinky stuff is just the icing on the cake.
Men can get wrapped up on being a total alpha male badass and going your own way but it’s really a lot more fun to have a good woman by your side. And yes, you have to fix your own life before you can fix your relationship. But don’t get so narrowly focused on self improvement you ignore someone that needs you.
So, this Valentine’s Day, give her a gift she really wants. Give her some attention. When you’re giving her that attention, give it all to her. Talk to her, listen to her, be with her. Ask her what she’s thinking. Ask her what she worries about.
We are all so busy with work and travel and kid activities, we sometimes can forget who we are sharing the journey with. When all of those other distractions go away some day, it’ll be you and her hiking down that road, alone, but together.
Your girl is your greatest treasure. Does she know that? That would be my definition of “Manning the F*** up”.
We are on this journey together, my Curvey and me. There are zero guarantees we get to the final destination together. Life is rough. One of us will likely die before the other. The road well-traveled, the here and now, these are the moments that make up a life well-lived.