There was a man one time that was told he had a torn bicep tendon in his shoulder, one of two such tendon attachment points, and the pain was constant, often waking the man up at night.
He was advised to have that tendon cut completely from both anchor points as the easiest solution. The side effects would be a loss of strength in that arm and a bicep that would gather down by the elbow and look like Popeye.
The man was also advised that he could have a pin screwed into the bone somewhere in that shoulder and have that bicep tendon reattached. This in itself is a painful surgery and one that success couldn’t be guaranteed and the shoulder would forever be potentially weak.
So the man did nothing and worked to live with the pain. The lesser of three terrible options.
Only after a year or two did the man decide to push his limits a bit and work thru the pain. The man decided to strengthen his entire upper body including said shoulder and bicep and work on his entire body and not focus on the one small area of his most severe pain.
Lo and behold, the man noticed as he strengthened up the rest of the surrounding area, the bicep tendon either began to heal itself or the other muscles started to support that torn bicep to the point where my pain was quickly fading.
TL;DR perhaps? (too long didn’t read)
How can I relate this to my married D/s?
My marriage used to be pain. One option was divorce (cutting the tendon quickly and be done with it).
Another option was counseling/therapy as a couple and painful recovery hard work to get thru it with no guarantees of success. Again, not much of an option because we were still not being true to our natures.
A third option was to just suck it up and live with the pain and hope for a peaceful ride to death.
To hell with that.
So, we Men work to strengthen all the areas around us in support of the weakest of our links. We work on being better leaders. We work on being better fathers. We work on being better husbands. We work on being better lovers. We work on our own bodies and try and lose the Dad-bod. We try and create an environment where our wives/gf’s/subs can thrive. Good soil, lots of sunshine, plenty of water and watch them grow. Feed those plants, err… subs. (Okay, now I’m mixing metaphors).
I hope you all see my point. While we might be able to attack the main “weakness” we find in our relationships in a direct manner as we Doms are hardwired in our DNA to do (attack), we have to nibble at the edges. A rising tide lifts all boats. (yet another metaphor, dammit)
So much to work on.