In Sickness and in Health
We’ve heard those words a million times. In fact, when we talk D/s contracts, many of us fall back to original contract: the marriage vows. We enter into those vows often deeply engulfed by young lust, not having a damn clue what we’re getting into. But that my friends is another blog post altogether.
So, now here we are, potentially years later, living a very good marriage or LTR. You have assumed leadership in your family, perhaps for the first time. She is responding by submitting to you as her Dominant, her Husband, her Man. Part of your new way of living is great sex. A lot of great sex. Heck, it’s like you’re back on your honeymoon. In feeding each other’s needs, sex is no longer denied. It’s no longer a bargaining chip. She has made her body and soul available to you when you need her. And you, for her.
We’re sailing rather smoothly along and one of us gets sick. It’s going to happen if it’s not already been something you’ve gone through. All in a sudden, she’s really in pain. Perhaps she’s physically broken, a car wreck perhaps, to the point where her body needs to mend. Any sudden movements and she’s potentially going to need more medical care. Or it’s a medicine issue and she’s puking her guts up trying to get used to a new prescription. Or maybe she’s just got a bad case of food poisoning and about the same time, the flu hits and she’s done in for a few weeks. How about a migraine from hell when that next cold front blows through?
We can’t predict the future but a medical scenario is a certainty. How we respond is 100% in our hands. Your girl is sick, she needs a leader now more than ever. If she is like mine, she’s going to feel bad that she is not meeting your needs. She simply can’t. But submissives that can’t perform their “duties”, get very down. Be that anything around the house, any task she normally handles as per your directions, or simply sucking away to relieve your daily stress, she’s going to feel like she’s failing you.
If ever there was a time to “man up” around the house, it’s now. Sure, you will carry the load and you will do it gladly. Or will you? After a week or two, are you still maintaining your frame? This is an eventuality we all need to prepare for. It can knock a serious blow to even the strongest of relationships.
In my own world, we’ve had to deal with some medical issues. I’ve had to adjust my expectations. I’ve had to reassure her. I’ve had to support in every way. I’ve had to wipe up blood from a wound, apply medicine, be the caregiver. During recovery, my girl eventually got quite horny and so did I. But, we had to take it very slow and gentle. You have to be her Rock. She will be back “on duty” as soon as she can. Let her know it’s okay to take the time to heal. Don’t worry, she won’t get complacent. Part of what feeds her is her being of service to you.
And when the sex thing does start back, it’s all about timing now. You need to talk to her daily, find out how she’s feeling. Gauge her ability to have any fun, not for your sake, but for hers. You have to make that good decision for the both of you. She’s going to want to jump ahead a few steps.
You have years left to screw your brains out. And if you’re like me, I need a healthy, happy, enthusiastic subbie while I think of new devious ways to snare her imagination and whet my flogger’s appetite for roasted butt.