So Mr Beginner Dom is thrust into a tornado of relationship chaos in the most amazing and rewardingways. Suddenly, he’s back with his girl like old times. The spark is there again. Bedroom Olympics are racing. There is a renewed closeness they’ve both been missing. Both are absorbing new ideas.
Many of us get to start to trust our partner enough to really start to explore each other’s kinky side. Oh, it is great fun. I was buying handcrafted floggers, cuffs, restraints, insertion toys, anal plugs, magic wands, a little dandy called The Womanizer… a complete treasure chest of sexual playthings with a willing partner eager to explore it all.
But at some point, I was sitting there dutifully studying new topics on the internet and it hit me…
What is the real purpose here? What’s my goal?
Men must have goals or we are not happy. She was seemingly content to receive 8 or 10 orgasms at a time but I felt inside I needed to take it to the next level. And had no idea what or where that lay. We were starting to have detailed bedroom scenes. I developed plans for the kink. I would even practice what I was going to say. Words are so damn powerful. My worst results are when I’m “winging it”.
I started listening to a friend talk about pain and endorphin levels. I’m a chemist by formal education. This biochemical reactions grabbed my attention. I began to read about this concept called sub-space. Essentially, releasing a series of endorphins that eventually leaves your girl a big puddle of mess, like she’s on heroin or something. Well, finally, there is a goal for me to work with!
Curvey likes to call it flying. I had made her fly a few times in our marrige previously but never really knew why. Just rolled with it. When we first got started, I informed Curvey I had a new flogger coming. Her initial reply was “oh hell no”. But a few subbie friends convinced her to keep an open mind. My girl is not a huge masochist but we quickly found that some spankings/flogging could greatly enhance her orgasms. And, truthfully, it got my rocks off swinging and striking, controlling her delicious body.
I read a detailed “how to” guide on endorphins and play. It’s been posted all over the net but here is an Endorphin Link if you are interested in the how-to. Basically; you work up to a series of pain induced endorphin chemical releases, allowing some gentle time in between to let her body build up internal stores again.
I had found my goal. It’s not overly easy at first. My success depends on my timing. We both need to be ready to have a drawn out bedroom scene. Her mind has to start off free and unhindered. Otherwise, it’s just not going to happen. I call it “flying the Curvey skies”.
Once she is at the place where she can barely speak in anything that resembles complete sentences, we fly together some more as I get my release. Then we stay together; warm blanket, a bit of chocolate, some water, and a lot of body to body holding and caressing. Soothing words as she comes back to reality.
You can’t fly a plane if you don’t learn to land first. “Aftercare” is how you land your girl. If you don’t pay special attention to aftercare, you will leave her lost, feeling abandoned and confused. She will lose trust in you. This is a truly powerful experience for both of you. Worthy of further research.
Chances are high she will never have felt anything like this. You will transform from fledgling Dominant to full bore Sexual God from Mount Olympus in her mind. You have now upped your game. Be careful. Be wise. And, always be in the moment and enjoy the ride. Life is short.