We’ve all grown up listening to Aretha Frankin’s R E S P E C T song but were you aware the song was written by a man, Otis Redding, as a demand to his girl to respect him.

A man who does not feel respected by his woman will likely stop giving a damn. He will show her less love.  Women want to be loved.  So without feeling loved, she is more and more disrespectful.  It’s a viscous negative spiral.

This is the premise of a book that’s been around a long time called Love and Respect by E. Eggerichs.  I think for anyone wanting to introduce themselves or another to the Dominant/submissive lifestyle, this book is a very good starting place.  It doesn’t go into kinky stuff like you’ll read when researching D/s.  But it does explore the basic foundations of the dynamic in a very non-threatening way.

So the man isn’t feeling respected and the woman isn’t feeling loved.  Who’s gonna blink first?  One party has to be first to step forward and “feed” the other. I will love her even if I don’t think she is acting right. The woman says, I will respect him as my husband even though… someone has to stop the negative spiral.

It seems like many relationships could benefit from this approach. If you are not feeding each other, eventually someone will feed your girl or some other girl will start feeding you and then it’s all over.  When things are rocky, get back to the basics of love, respect, communication and trust   It all starts here.

Good luck, it’s truly worth it.


5 comments… add one
  • alphaandkat Aug 29, 2017 @ 2:29

    Love, respect, communication, and trust are traits we have continually encouraged people to consider when building (or rebuilding) relationships. And strong foundations definitely help them weather whatever comes their way. Good post, ST.

  • vinmenniti Oct 26, 2017 @ 17:48

    Love seeing Otis redding. You don’t miss your water is a masterpiece of a song.

    • Sir Tex Oct 26, 2017 @ 17:50

      I agree. Otis def still in the playlists

  • Rachel Jan 7, 2020 @ 16:16

    I’ve been struggling with this with my s/o in many different respects (pardon the pun):
    – Our sexual appetites differ wildly. I can’t get enough and he’s happy to go without.
    – I work out daily in addition to my job and he’s slowly letting himself go.
    – I lead in my businesses, and my home, because he won’t.
    It’s difficult to respect someone who doesn’t seem to respect themselves. It’s hard to navigate between the space between encouragement and nagging. It’s not black and white.

    • texasdom Jan 8, 2020 @ 6:19

      Many women are forced to lead at home because their man will not. I always have admired the resiliency of women in that regard. They won’t let their families suffer from a lack of male leadership.

      So what to do. How to encourage and not nag.

      I’m not a shrink just a man who has walked down many rocky paths and has many scars on the bottoms of my feet.

      When men get lazy and “let themselves go”, there might be some depression involved. Or as we get a bit older, a decrease in Testosterone (which will lead to low libido and depression).

      That might be your best approach. Again, I do not know your ages, but I’ve seen men in their mid 20’s with lower testosterone numbers than they need.

      Think in then 200-300 ng/ml range when they should be closer to 900-1000+.

      Doctors are much more likely these days to run that blood test.

      As men all across the board are suffering from low T these days, they medical community has lowered the “standard range” a bit to compensate.

      That’s moving the goal posts in my opinion. Each man and woman are defined by how they feel versus a standardized number.

      But help him get checked.

      Always remember at the heart of ant strong relationship, communication will always be the key to moving forward.

      Good luck. I pray he gets help now and not in ten years.

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