My Curvey asked me the other day if I realized that in just a few of well chosen words, I can make her soar and fly.  Or if I’m careless with my comments, I can make her feel worthless, ugly or useless.

She wanted to know if other Doms knew what a powerful sword we wield.  I replied that I hope they did.  I know it took me 25 years of marriage to understand that.  Honest praise that seems like a tiny little thing to me just makes her giddy inside.  She wants to please me all the time.  When I notice the little things, it is everything to her.

My comments were careless and flippant in the past.  As an ENTP, I’m prone to being a Devil’s Advocate and argumentative just for the sake of a lively discussion.  It wasn’t until recently that I really began to understand this.  I was coming across as a jerk.

Lord knows how often I hurt her feelings. And I had no clue.  It took me to try to understand what makes her tick to fix us.  What feeds her.  The fact that she has some Little Girl in her still, one that loves stuffies and coloring and playing kids games.  It wasn’t until I understood her inner child that the power of my words became obvious.  Had I understood this year’s ago, how different our marriage would have been.

I set the expectations now.  I choose my words carefully.  I make sure I don’t make promises that I can’t keep.

Kids get especially crushed when a parent makes promises they have to real intention of keeping.  Subbies are no different.  A good friend says the sub is the most mature teenager in the house.  That makes me laugh like hell.

And yet, he’s right.  She can be a dynamo in the business world but at home she gets to take off the mask she shows the world and gets to be her real self.  She counts on me to be steady and calm and dependable.  My words and promises matter.  If I don’t deliver, it takes her down a notch.

The only way I can take her pulse is to keep the lines of communication open and honest.  Of all the things that saved our marriage from sure disaster, open and honest communication was the key.  I pray we never lose it.  It’s a daily ritual now for us.  When I’m home, we talk over coffee in the morning.  We talk about us.  Not work, not the kids, just us.   I carefully form my questions and she is allowed to speak freely.  I learn so much.

I don’t put her up on a pedestal any longer.  That’s too much pressure on her to be perfect and eventually everyone will fall off.  She needs to be allowed to be herself and never be afraid to fail.

So I’ll sum it up.  I keep my promises to my girl.  She knows she is my Number One. It’s us against the world.  There are a lot of married roommates out there.  Not here.   I am the King.  I choose to fuck the Queen.  Long may she cum!